transient | (no subject)

I am really inherently self-destructive. I have rather low self-esteem, and I seem to enjoy smashing it further and further into the ground -- of my own volition!

Case in point: I am applying for a job at a summer camp. (No, it's not in Louisiana, and it has horses, not zombies.) I find the "Meet Our Staff" section and click it, intending to get an idea of how many people they hire for the position I want.

Instead, I read all the bios and compare their experiences and qualifications with my own, and find myself sadly lacking. I most always find myself sadly lacking when I compare myself with another person, but it seems worse, here. Almost everyone in the horse camps own their own horses or have been riding most of their life -- generally, if they own their own horse, the "or" becomes an "and." I have no teaching experience. I compare my interests to theirs that are listed and feel myself falling drastically short. Then I look at the lists of staff in 2008, then 2007, then 2006 and continue to feel completely unqualified.

Basically, I depress myself and I haven't even finished the application.

I don't know why I do this to myself. I am so deathly afraid of failure that I make up new reasons to not even try just so I don't have to experience that.

I am still so very, completely and utterly, immature.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ARE YOU ME. I totally do this too :'( *cuddles*

[rolls onnn]

It's such a terrible terrible habit. :( So I went to cheer myself up by seeing what kind of graduate programs I can get into with my anthropology degree. WORK OPPORTUNITIES SUCK, LET'S SEE ABOUT MORE SCHOOL...

Haha, I do this too. orz I think you're doing better than me though: it'd take me a lot of effort to even start applying. [hugs]

Oh, man, me, too ;; it makes job applications SO MUCH WORSE. o9

[hugs]

Babe. ♥ Buck up, you can do it. BELIEVE!

Almost everyone in the horse camps own their own horses or have been riding most of their life -- generally, if they own their own horse, the "or" becomes an "and." I have no teaching experience. I compare my interests to theirs that are listed and feel myself falling drastically short.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh god. I do this too! But, if it helps, there are many an expected thing! Everyone at my school is made of up crazyresumes too, except a few of us. But just remember, your experiences don't make you! You . . . make you. . . okay that sounded cooler before I tried to make it cool. BASICALLY. GO FIGHT WIN, DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN, I'M CHEERING FOR YOU \o/!!!!!!!!!